He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
