just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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