Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
