I faked an abortion last night.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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