did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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