How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Quick, to the slutcave!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
