i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
