So drunk its hurt
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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