I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
