i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
