Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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