whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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