Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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