covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
