Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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