Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize