Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
