"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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