i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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