I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
