we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
