you guys were way drunker than both of me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I didn't notice because vodka
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
