eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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