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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize