It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
