im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
