She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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