Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
