i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
