dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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