I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
People in love make me want to vomit
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
