It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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