I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
