i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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