I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
