How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
