last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
