I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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