when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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