I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
