she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize