we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
