This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
babies were throwing up all over the place
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
