I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
