I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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