So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
high people should be assigned attendants
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
