Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize