im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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