The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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