My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize