so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
