I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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