haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
