Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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