I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
