She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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