haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
