no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
