Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Redeem this text for a blowjob
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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