You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize